Wednesday, May 13, 2015

6KCBWDAY2 ~ All About Me

6KCBWDAY2-Our challenge today:  "Cast your hooks and needles aside! This year you are challenged with one of those tasks that some bloggers can find quite daunting: but there’s never a better time then when we’re all in it together, so let’s shift the focus and turn the attention from the things we make to the things that make us."

The Twins
With a birthday coming up next week, please note that I am a Gemini (the twins) not a liar! "A liar?" you ask. "What is the Queen talking about?"

Let me explain...Karma was just right for me to get in on Blog Week. #6KCBWDAY2. I love and am challenged by the topics provided for us to write about this week. I came upon it the very day it was starting because I was checking in with some of my many Ravelry groups and doing some Spring cleaning. I'm in too many, I thought. I definitely wanted to stay in the I Blog group where I clicked in and found this blogging week project. Interesting that today's topic suggests that we write about ourselves and what we do outside of crafting.

Another perfect-timing-Karma-thing happened just yesterday when I attended a program offered by my township called Your Life,Your Legacy. We heard about how "our life story is a gift to share with generations to come." One of the participants asked a question that profoundly influenced me as to what I am about to write here. She said she is writing a journal to be read by her children and grandchildren, but she has had some experiences that are very difficult and sad. She wondered if she should leave those out because she doesn't want her loved ones to be sad as they read about what she has been through.

Our presenter, a music therapist and psychologist, responded that her decision as to what to include is very personal and only she can decide what to share. She went on to say that those difficult times are an important, influential part of her history and makes her who she is. I took away from this that even the hard truth is important to share.

So, as a Gemini my dark twin is the part of me that hides my sadness and protects others from it. My light/bright twin is the side that most people know as Me. I've often laughed when hearing people complain about some of the things people share on Facebook: their inflamed hemhoroids or oozing sutures after surgery! TMI ~ Too Much Info!! I am basically a private person and I don't share that kind of information.

As the Founder of the Crochet Guild of America, I am a public figure (Anywya, that's how I'm defined on Facebook). I don't want sympathy or pity coming from the hundreds and hundreds of people who have heard of me. For 8 years now, my husband and I have been struggling with his degenerative brain condition. It is debilitating; it is terminal. I don't like it when people I know and I see often ask me "how is he doing?" My newest answer is, "He's living a hard life." I learned this answer recently from a crochet/knit group friend whose husband has MS. He does not have something like brochitis that runs its course and eventually gets better, especially with the help of magical drugs.

Corticobasal Degeneration is rare; it is hard to say and even harder to spell. See what I mean...little light/bright twin just stepped in! It took 3 years and a trip to the "Undiagnosed Diseases" department of the National Institutes of Health to get a diagnosis. My dear husband of almost 48 years, Alan, is courageous and stays positive most days. He can enjoy a movie, NCIS and a road trip; he just can't walk or talk.

I don't let me dark twin take over often because I am afraid if I start to cry I will never stop! My passion is crochet and that is what I write about every week, along with sharing the joys of our darling grandchildren. If my light/bright twin starts having too much fun or laughing to much, I feel guilty. I tell myself I shouldn't be so lighthearted or flippant; then I tell myself that is wrong and I crochet, crochet, crochet!

What do I do outside of crafting? I am my husband's caretaker, I read and I exercise. I have other caretakers that relieve me each week so I can get out and do the grocery shopping, walk in the forest or have lunch with friends. I do my best also to get Alan out of the house for visual and mental stimulation. We are trying to make the most of each day.

There you have it; I have bared my soul to friends and strangers. It was not so bad, but you won't be reading about weekly or monthly progress reports here. I will be balancing both sides of my personality, trying to keep my chin up and staying healthy so I can be the best caretaker for Alan. You won't hear about pus or drool or family drama here, but you will hear about my healthy obsession, CROCHET, that keeps me sane!

I will be working on our legacy. I've been writing a private journal for some time, but I want to concentrate on getting Alan's legacy down on paper. He can still type his thoughts and I will get after him to do more. The best thing to come out of the Legacy program was a little code I want to teach our grandchildren. "Pat, pat, pat" on the hand means "I love you." I will teach them to pat, pat, pat Alan on the hand, and I will teach him to pat them back. No words are needed to express love.

Us in better times


Breathing Life said...

what a beautiful gesture - pat pat pat - I will remember this.

Yvonne McEachern said...

Knitting gives me the same balance! Our crafts are very therapeutic in so many ways.

Voie de Vie said...

Good on you for finding just the right opening. Both living a private life and public revelation takes courage.

Hook on!

Elena aka. Midsommarflicka said...

Wish you two all the best!