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August 9,2010: Now that my mother is gone and I am left with just my dad, I am beginning to realize that dads are a different breed! I think that my dad is also finding out all that a mom/wife is and how much that we do is taken for granted by all of us. Moms keep track of all the social aspects of life and they know just when to send a birthday card and time it so it arrives just at the proper time! Moms know what is going on in the extended family because they don't mind talking on the phone and keeping in touch. They go shopping and run into people too and keep up with the neighbors and the friends from church. Moms plan meals and shop once a week to get everything that is needed. Moms know what to do with leftovers!
I think Mom would be holding Chloe if she were here, just because.....

It has been seven months since Mom left us and Dad is learning. He's doing a fine job of trying to make a life for himself alone. The winter was very rough and lonely and cold for him. Spring brought a new outlook with him being able to get out and walk the dog, Jack, and enjoy being out in the car more. He works in the yard and runs errands for my brother. He has kept up with his three social groups, one that meets at Atz's Ice Cream shop on Wed. afternoon and the Friday morning coffee group and his weekly dinner at the American Legion with another widower.

There are tales to tell about the coffee old guy had the propensity of lingering bhind as they were leaving and lifting the tip from the table. Not only the group's table but he would also sashay around and collect from other tables. Finally, he was asked by management to not darken the door any more! They also thrown in a quarter to a "pot" and someone wins it each week. Another guy is currently trying to rig the pot somehow so he can win it because it is a REALLY LARGE SUM of about two dollars!

Jack, the dog, was a blessing for my mother and has proved to be a constant companion to my dad as well. Jack wakes my dad up most nights at 3 AM and jumps on his bed. It's annoying, yes, but dad says Jack is "well worth the trouble."

I feel very fortunate to have my brother and sister-in-law's watchful eye on dad as they live as neighbors in the next lot. They include him in many activities and have him for dinner and go out to dinner with him weekly. They look for jobs to give him to help him keep busy. At 90 years old, sometimes the energy level is just not there and dad has periods where he isolates himself a bit, but he bounces back and is most happy when he does have something to do, even if it is make-work or fake errands!

Dad is learning to talk to me whereas before, he was always more than happy to let mom do all the talking. Yes, he is a bit shy, but I think it was just a guy thing. He kept one ear on the phone and the other on the tv while we talked on the phone and would often say, "Oh, mom knows about this or that." I haven't really changed the way I talk; it is the same news and the same updates. It is different though, talking to dad. Just something we both have to get used to!


missyboo said…
My sympathies and hugs to you and your Dad on the loss of your Mom/Wife! What you and the rest of the family are doing with Dad is just the perfect thing to help him out too! And you're right, Dads are a different breed.
SandieP said…
My mom is still with us at 90, but my dad passed on a couple years ago. They are definitely different. Glad your dad is starting to figure things out and is able to stay somewhat active. Feeling useful is so important.

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